The Importance of Grounding

How grounding techniques can transform lives

4th February 2017

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There aren't many things I can say I'm an expert in but I can say with confidence in my life that I have learned and continue to learn the importance of grounding. For a multitude of reasons when I was younger I was described (20 years ago) as etherial, head in the clouds, spaced out, not really 'of this world' and many other words that describe a person who really isn't present. I was experimenting with meditation practices and there was nothing I loved more than being in some kind of 'other worldly' space where I felt I was safe and connected to spirit. I think this habit of escaping developed in childhood as I always had quite a vivid imagination and then as I got older and the realities of life really hit me I naturally where possible would escape being in my body because that was where my feelings were.

I know I'm not alone in this. I've met many people since then who are 'in their bodies' but not really connecting inside fully. My training as a therapist has taught me that this can happen for a variety of reasons. It might be that a person was raised in a very academic environment with parents who were great scholars and so their relationships were quite intellectual and 'heady' and emotions were not expressed so freely. It could also be that a person experienced some kind of serious trauma as a child and so they learned to dissociate or shut off from their feelings as a way to survive a situation. Another example might be a person who has body issues and hated being in their body and so somehow didn't fully inhabit their body as a way of avoiding the pain of their experiences. In early life it is the mother who demonstrates to the child how to be fully embodied and for many of us our parents were carrying their own issues and so the skill of being connected in the body was never fully developed.

The most obvious thing about not being grounded is that somehow you are unable to feel fully alive and present. The more ungrounded you are the more disconnected you will be in relationships. It sort of feels like you are living in a bubble and somehow you interact with people in a transactional way but your heart and feelings are not really engaged. People like this are naturally drawn to introvert practices such as meditation - that's not to say that all meditation practices are ungrounded because many are however some that are more transcendent are far from grounded.

When meditation was first taught thousands of years ago in the East the environment was different, people didn't wear shoes all the time and you were very much connected to the Earth and nature around you. Nowadays those same practices have been brought to the West into our busy lives and are being applied in a very different world, a digital world and a culture that values the intellect over feelings. So many people live and operate from their heads, dealing with facts, figures,ideas and concepts and they park their emotions for when they get home and interact with their families. Many of us carry a split inside between our head and our feelings and this can manifest in the body as an energetic blockage in parts of the body shutting out part of our experience.

So how do you know if you need grounding? Here are some signs:

• You often feel separate somehow as if you are 'here but not here'
• You struggle to feel sensations in your body especially in your legs, feet and/or lower body
• You are brilliant with information and data and live a lot in a logical 'mindspace' avoiding conflict
• You rarely go outside take off your shoes and feel the earth under your feet
• You struggle to concentrate when people are talking to you and notice that your mind takes you elsewhere
• You have a challenging relationship with your body and rarely feel comfortable in your own skin
• You are super sensitive, very open to energies and often feel infected by the energy around you such as a busy shopping centre, a crowd on the underground or social situations - they make you feel drained and exhausted
• Your feelings easily take you into overwhelm and feel HUGE

Some of these things are obviously not only due to not being grounded but grounding can help with all of them. It is also worth knowing that in therapy when we work with trauma the first thing we do is help resource the client so that they have grounding tools and techniques to support them with self-regulation and basically getting back to feeling OK when the overwhelm kicks in. The human body is an incredible resource and many of us don't know how to use it. When a person learns to be fully rooted suddenly they learn that what was once an avalanche of emotion feels more like a stream and they learn that with breathing to allow emotions to flow and move through. Perhaps more importantly that their anger, rage or grief can be absorbed and received by the Earth and they no longer need to suppress and contain it.

What many Eastern practices teach you is how to connect with the transpersonal but what they fail to teach people is how to ground the spiritual energy and bring it into action fully. We all hold a spectrum inside of us between heaven and earth, light and dark and so it makes total sense to me that if I'm accumulating spiritual energy in meditation that I need to learn to carry it and ground it through the body and express it through my creativity. Otherwise what's the point? The proof of real meditation is a life that is grounded in action and making a difference.

So here are some basic grounding tips:

• From time to time take off your shoes and walk on the ground. As you do it mindfully visualise roots going down through your feet and into the earth
• Visualise a shaft of white/golden light going down through the top of your head, through your torso and down through your belly, your pelvis, legs and out through your feet and into the earth or collecting in a point below your feet
• Practice mindfulness meditation working with the breath and notice sensations come and go in your body
• Walk by the sea, breath in the fresh air and get your feet in the water or preferably your whole body
• In Chinese philosophy the centre of 'self' is about three fingers width below the belly button. If you breath into this place for a few moments each day, perhaps when lying in bed, you will be more embodied
• Notice your feet on the ground as you walk around the house, do the washing up or go about your daily activities
• Imagine that you are sinking from your eyes into your belly as if in a submarine. Your eyes are the look out points but you are comfortably sitting in your belly

These are just a few that I have found very effective both personally and in working with clients. When you more fully inhabit your body some interesting changes take place. One I have noticed is that I crave less food and perhaps overeating was a way of grounding myself in the past that I no longer need. Another noticeable change is that there is less fear generally inside because I feel that I can use my body as a resource. Lastly I would say there is nothing more beautiful than harmony between body and soul and through practicing grounding I feel I have taken a step closer to this. The way we relate to our bodies is fundamental to our sense of wellbeing and aliveness and who wouldn't want more of that! I would love to hear your thoughts........and feelings :)

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