What do children and young people really need?

Childline suicide calls reach a record high

7th December 2016

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It's that time of year again and it's been a tough year. It's fair enough that we all want to pretend this year didn't happen and cheer ourselves up by spending time with those we love dearly and enjoy the festivities. However it's important to spare a thought for those in need and really consider how we as adults can support all the children and young people in our lives. For some people Christmas is something they dread.

I've been reading statistics about child suicide in the UK and I'm quite shocked that this year the number of children and young people contacting Childline has risen by 5 percent. The top three reasons for contacting Childline were low self-esteem/unhappiness (up 19%), family relationships and bullying. Counselling about suicidal thoughts and feelings reached the highest ever levels and in total 26,764 counselling sessions were about abuse, including sexual/online sexual abuse and neglect.

A report in the children's society 'state of the nation review' of young people's wellbeing states that an estimated 283,000 girls aged 10-15 say they are unhappy with their lives overall and 700,000 (34%) are not happy with how they look. In contrast the proportion of boys aged 10-15 who are unhappy with their lives has stayed at 11% over the same period of time. The reasons for the widening gender gap are unclear but the report does find that emotional bullying, such as name-calling, which girls are more likely to experience, is twice as common as physical bullying, which is more common among boys. One girl said 'We're expected to be perfect, like Barbie dolls or something and if we don't, then we get bullied.' Anxiety about body image are starting in children and young as 3 years old.

Like never before children and young people need a healthy sense of self and this can be nurtured in small ways through giving your time, attention and buckets of love. There’s a great need for us to teach children and young people how to protect themselves, learn to ‘say no’ and be assertive. In therapy I work with the adults, helping them to strengthen their sense of self and protect themselves and therefore create more safety for their children. We also look at nurturing a healthy relationship with food and their bodies and not one that tips into obsession and extremes. If we all do our bit we can create more safety and get back to love because after all that’s what’s needed. Teaching children and young people how to reach out and support others in need is also a great life-enriching gift.

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